


Stay Alive

by badwolfofbakerstreet



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Destiel - Freeform, Episode: s12e12 Stuck In The Middle (With You), Fluff, Love Confessions, M/M, Post-Episode: s12e12 Stuck In The Middle (With You), much fluff, post castiel's love confession, smooches
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-22
Updated: 2017-02-22
Packaged: 2018-09-26 07:46:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,433
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9874163
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/badwolfofbakerstreet/pseuds/badwolfofbakerstreet
Summary: Coda for 12.12 Stuck in the Middle (With You); Dean and Cas need to talk, they've got some things to say, and some promises to make.





	

**Author's Note:**

> The title is because I was listening to Hamilton while writing this, oops.

“I meant what I said.”  
     To say Dean was surprised to find Cas waiting for him in the garage in the middle of the night would have been a lie. Dean couldn’t sleep, insomnia wasn’t something he was a stranger to. Castiel knew him better than anyone, he’d probably been waiting in there for hours. Sitting, mulling over everything that had transpired between them hours before.  
     “You were on death’s doorstep, man. You weren’t thinking clearly.” Dean threw the angel an out that he didn’t catch.  
     “I can assure you my mind has never been more clear.” Dean was stopped in his tracks, one hand clenched the six pack of beer he had brought out to wallow in self pity and drink himself into a pit of despair. He refused to meet Cas’ eyes, however, as his feet started working again. He made his way to the side of the Impala where Cas was currently leaning and slid to the floor beside the angel, pulling out a beer, he popped it open and put the cool glass to his lips. It was almost soothing. The bitter liquid coated his tongue and it was almost enough to calm him, but he found it difficult to swallow with the lump clogging his throat.  
     “Why, Cas?” Dean’s voice was more broken than he would have liked for it to be. He saw Cas shift in his peripherals. They’d had many-a-conversation that made them step out of their comfort zones; they rarely ever met eyes while they spoke.  
     “Surely you understand why I love you, Dean,” Castiel said, the words sounded so easy and natural rolling off his tongue- _his tongue_ , “You’ve amazed me since I first saved you from Hell. You’ve helped shape me into the man I want to be. I admire your bravery, your kindness, your passion. Dean, I am so enraptured by you every moment of every day. You are everything to me, do you still not understand?”  
     If Cas saw Dean wipe away the tears that fell from his eyes, he didn’t say anything. He patiently waited for the hunter’s response.  
     “Wow,” Dean cleared his throat, “Cas, that... That’s amazing. Thank you. Really. But it’s not what I was asking.” He swallowed a bit more liquid courage and stood, feeling slightly uneasy on his feet, he faced the angel.  
     “I’m not sure I follow, you asked why I love you, I’ve just told you.” Cas was doing his head tilt thing that always succeeded to hitch Dean’s breathing and weaken his knees.  
     “You did. Bu that’s not what I meant when I asked why. I mean- _why_ did you choose _that_ moment to tell me? When you were dying and you knew there was no hope!”  
     “Dean-” Dean held up his hand, he wasn’t going to stop now.  
     “If Crowley hadn’t thought of- _if he_ -listen, Cas, Crowley destroyed a very powerful weapon to save you. Do you understand why?”  
     “Because he likes it when we owe him favors.”  
     “Yes, _we_ , exactly.”  
     “What?”  
     “Crowley was my best friend for months, Cas. He knows a lot about me, and you can’t tell me he was unconscious for your confession. I’ve told him things because when I was a demon, I thought they were ironic. A Knight of Hell in love with an angel.”  
     “So-”  
     “ _So_ , Crowley just gave me everything I’ve ever wanted. Handed it to me on a silver, rune-covered friggen lance. So can you tell me why it took you dying to finally confess that you loved me?”  
     “That’s not fair, why is it on me? Why haven’t you told me of your feelings?”  
     “I have! It’s not easy for me, Cas! I’ve been taught that emotions are weapons! So I didn’t manage the big L-word. But I told you that I needed you years ago, and what did you do immediately after? You left! So excuse me for not opening up more.”  
     “Talk about fairness, I was brainwashed! I had some twisted form of PTSD. Naomi made me kill copies of you hundred- _hundreds_ -of times. I was having issues just looking at you.”  
     “What?” Dean blanched, his mouth forming a perfect circle. And damn if Cas didn’t hesitate a moment before he continued, his eyes drifted downward before they moved back up Dean’s face to his eyes. Dean watched the journey, the longing grew in his chest every second Castiel’s eyes stayed down.  
     “S-so _yes_ , Dean,” He cleared his throat, “I chose the moment of my impending doom to tell you I love you. I apologize for the poor timing.”  
     “But those feelings _are_ current. You love me?”  
     “Yes! I am in love with you, Dean Winchester!” He threw his arms up in exasperation, turning his back on Dean, he ran a hand over his face and turned back to the hunter, who was more than a little amused at how adorable he looked when he did that.  
     “And we’ve discussed that I return these feelings?” Dean couldn’t help the small smile that bloomed on his face.  
     “Yes!” Cas shouted in reply, obviously angry by Dean’s ability to find something about their situation entertaining.   
     “Then-”  
     “What, Dean! What more would you like for me to answer to?” He stepped forward, getting into Dean’s personal bubble, Dean wasn’t backing away and the sudden urge he felt hit him in the gut. He needed this.  
     “Nothing! I just-”  
     “You what?”  
     “Why are we fighting? We just expressed our feelings, and we’re standing in the garage, jumping down each other’s throats.” He caught his breath as Castiel absorbed his question.  
     “I-I don’t actually know.”  
     Castiel’s look of pure confusion made Dean’s face split into a grin. Slowly, as Dean began laughing, Castiel let himself laugh as well. Dean reached out, his hand grasped Castiel’s shoulder for support as he was wracked with tremor’s from his laughter. He was laughing so hard there were tears in his eyes. Castiel caught him around his waist and pulled him effortlessly closer.  
     Dean let his head fall into the crook of Castiel’s neck and his laughter soon became something more akin to sobbing and he wrapped his arms around Castiel, grasping him tight-probably too tight.  
     Cas was an angel, so Dean’s tight grip didn’t necessarily bother him, and he began rubbing soothing circles into Dean’s back, allowing the man to cry into his neck.  
     “I’m here, I’m alive,” Castiel said quietly, this made Dean clutch him tighter.  
     He cried, and Cas let him.  
     Soon, Dean’s tears subsided. He began to pull back from Castiel’s neck, placing a light kiss there first. Cas shuddered from the light touch, it surprised him.  
     “ _Don’t_ do that again,” Dean said, his eyes suddenly serious, though they dropped from Cas’ eyes to his mouth multiple times.  
     “Do what?” Cas wasn’t quite sure what exactly qualified as husky, but his voice must have been bordering it based on Dean’s reaction to it. He had goosebumps, he swallowed thickly.  
     “Die. Don’t die. Don’t get stabbed by magic blades, don’t say yes to Lucifer or any angel or demon. Don’t make risky partnerships with douchebags. Don’t leave me.”  
     “Oh, Dean. I have no intention of leaving you purposefully again.”  
     They locked eyes for a moment with a mutual understanding. They had a reason to try harder to stay alive. It had to be for each other, because they both knew it wouldn’t be for themselves.  
     Dean pushed forward first, though upon realizing what was happening, Castiel eagerly met him halfway. It was slightly painful, their lips and teeth knocked together but they persisted. Dean led them into a sweeter kiss, barely any tongue, just long, slow, sucking exploration. The smacking sound was borderline pornographic as Castiel pulled back suddenly. Dean’s lips were still in a pucker, his eyes heavy. He opened them slowly and stared at Cas in confusion.  
     The pure adoration in the angel’s eyes wasn’t all that unfamiliar.  
     “You know that goes both ways right," He said seriously, "You can’t make anymore hasty deals for your life or turn yourself into a soul bomb or take on a mark that turns you into a demon. No dealings with demon’s at all. Except Crowley, I have a feeling we’re going to be hearing from him soon.”  
     “Cas?”  
     “Yes, Dean?”  
     “Shut up and kiss me.”  
     “Oh.” He moved back to Dean, pressing their lips together again.

If Sam walked into the garage later that morning to find them asleep in each other’s arms, he didn’t take a picture; and he most certainly didn’t send it to his mother.  
     Her reply definitely didn’t say ‘ _finally_.’


End file.
